What happened?

You know, I just realized that I never got my bras from A.W. Kaufman that I ordered by phone NEARLY ONE YEAR AGO.  Well, I didn’t “just” realize this.  I have thought about this intermittently since I ordered them but as more and more time passed, it seemed kind of weird to call back and ask what happened.  Miriam did tell me it could take “a while,” because she wasn’t sure when she was going to get the next shipment in, but, it’s been a bit more than “a while” although I guess it’s possible another order never arrived.  Or something.  I don’t really know how their ordering system works.

Anyway, I decided ten minutes ago that I couldn’t wait any longer because in the 18 months since I bought the bra, I am starting to feel some sag*, so I ordered two Conturelle Provence bras from a store called Bits of Lace.  No A.W. Kaufman discount, but free shipping and no tax.  Not too bad.

We’ll see how long it takes.

-DeeDee

* I know that I could just get the bra altered by taking in the straps.  Someone at a lingerie store once suggested this to me.  But, my bra feels too personal to take to a tailor, although writing about my bra and what goes inside them on the internet feels just fine for some reason.

N.Y. v. L.A.

Remember the contour bras and my befuddlement about them? Well, something else in the article caught my attention — the comments of a lingerie designer bemoaning the trend:

“My feeling is that these days, rather than someone like Janis Joplin being revered, idolized, it’s more about the shoe or the bag of the moment,” she said. “It’s about labels, names, branding. Everyone has their hair straightened, the perfect jeans, the right cellphone and accessories. It’s almost like New York is turning into L.A.; there is a lack of acceptance of natural self.” Though New York women do not appear to be embracing surgical implants with the same zeal as their sisters in the West … yet?

I lived in New York for ten years and periodically people would tell me that they couldn’t believe I was from Los Angeles and that I seemed “so” New York. I was always kind of insulted by that comment, thinking it was code for short, unruly dark hair, a little too neurotic, maybe a bit uptight, or really, just not that hot.

But maybe they were really just talking about my boobs.

Another trend passes me by

3D sent me this article from the New York Observer. (How 3D finds these things, I do not know).

Apparently, a spectre is haunting New York — the spectre of Countour Bras:

. . . Increasingly, the ladies of this town have been sporting remarkably similar pairs of perfect, pert globes: rounder, higher and larger than ever before. There has been an absence of breast individuality such as lace, seams, overflow, jiggle, signs of gravitational pull and, most notably, nipple.

The flawless orbs that have been parading around the city are achieved by strapping on a “lined,” “T-shirt,” or “contour” bra. These are marketing terms for what is essentially a modern padded bra. This is not the quilted number of years past, but rather a smooth, immaculate device with foam-infused breast cups.

I seriously have no idea what they’re talking about. At all.

I can’t even picture what this bra looks like although, according to the article, 90-95 percent of bras for sale at Victoria’s Secret are t-shirt bras. (I stopped shopping at Victoria’s Secret in the tenth grade. They run too small). Unsurprisingly, it has never crossed my mind to wear a padded bra, or any bra that involves foam.

Clearly I am out of step with the zeitgest, considering that I have been celebrating what I thought was the increased availability of lacy, sexy bras for big boobed gals. Boy did I call that one wrong.

And is an aversion to “jiggle” or “overflow” a new thing? Or is it new for everyone but me? This article was confounding on so many levels . . .

The bras, much to the chagrin of men interviewed for the article, have the effect of making women’s breasts look bigger:

“I’ve been disappointed when I’ve taken one of those bras off,” said Christian, a 45-year-old artist-photographer who declared himself “passionate” about the subject. He went on: “I’ve had to try and hide my look of surprise. It’s not a deal breaker or anything, but the shape, the size, is many times different than one might have anticipated.”

Again, men generally are not dismayed that my boobs seem more modestly sized bare than when clothed.

Do I operate in a whole other universe?!?!

-DeeDee