Another trend passes me by

3D sent me this article from the New York Observer. (How 3D finds these things, I do not know).

Apparently, a spectre is haunting New York — the spectre of Countour Bras:

. . . Increasingly, the ladies of this town have been sporting remarkably similar pairs of perfect, pert globes: rounder, higher and larger than ever before. There has been an absence of breast individuality such as lace, seams, overflow, jiggle, signs of gravitational pull and, most notably, nipple.

The flawless orbs that have been parading around the city are achieved by strapping on a “lined,” “T-shirt,” or “contour” bra. These are marketing terms for what is essentially a modern padded bra. This is not the quilted number of years past, but rather a smooth, immaculate device with foam-infused breast cups.

I seriously have no idea what they’re talking about. At all.

I can’t even picture what this bra looks like although, according to the article, 90-95 percent of bras for sale at Victoria’s Secret are t-shirt bras. (I stopped shopping at Victoria’s Secret in the tenth grade. They run too small). Unsurprisingly, it has never crossed my mind to wear a padded bra, or any bra that involves foam.

Clearly I am out of step with the zeitgest, considering that I have been celebrating what I thought was the increased availability of lacy, sexy bras for big boobed gals. Boy did I call that one wrong.

And is an aversion to “jiggle” or “overflow” a new thing? Or is it new for everyone but me? This article was confounding on so many levels . . .

The bras, much to the chagrin of men interviewed for the article, have the effect of making women’s breasts look bigger:

“I’ve been disappointed when I’ve taken one of those bras off,” said Christian, a 45-year-old artist-photographer who declared himself “passionate” about the subject. He went on: “I’ve had to try and hide my look of surprise. It’s not a deal breaker or anything, but the shape, the size, is many times different than one might have anticipated.”

Again, men generally are not dismayed that my boobs seem more modestly sized bare than when clothed.

Do I operate in a whole other universe?!?!

-DeeDee