Boobs and Sex: Focus on the Nipple

I’ve finally come to write about what I feel is a very important issue in the big-boobed community — the erogenousness of nipples.

Once, years ago, a guy was sucking my nipple and said, “you aren’t getting anything from this, are you?” I wasn’t. I never do. The only sensation I feel at all is mild pain. I admitted as such (minus the part about pain) and he said that he has found there to be an inverse relationship between the size of the breast and the amount of pleasure derived from having a nipple sucked. When I told him that I hadn’t realized that before, he pointedly asked, “well how many nipples have you licked?” I take it he had licked several.

Partially because he seemed to be an authority on such matters, I basically took it as fact. And, when 3D hosted a big boob bonanza a few years ago, if memory serves me correctly, five out of the six girls there said nipple sucking didn’t do much for them.

This is not to say that I don’t like to have my breasts touched, fondled, caressed, slammed against, etc., but the particular act of nipple sucking just doesn’t do anything for me. That, combined with the mild pain and the sheer awkwardness of just lying there while my partner sucks away, makes the whole thing affirmatively unpleasant.

I’d be curious to know what others (both people with nipples and people who suck nipples) think about all of this.

-DeeDee

Another trend passes me by

3D sent me this article from the New York Observer. (How 3D finds these things, I do not know).

Apparently, a spectre is haunting New York — the spectre of Countour Bras:

. . . Increasingly, the ladies of this town have been sporting remarkably similar pairs of perfect, pert globes: rounder, higher and larger than ever before. There has been an absence of breast individuality such as lace, seams, overflow, jiggle, signs of gravitational pull and, most notably, nipple.

The flawless orbs that have been parading around the city are achieved by strapping on a “lined,” “T-shirt,” or “contour” bra. These are marketing terms for what is essentially a modern padded bra. This is not the quilted number of years past, but rather a smooth, immaculate device with foam-infused breast cups.

I seriously have no idea what they’re talking about. At all.

I can’t even picture what this bra looks like although, according to the article, 90-95 percent of bras for sale at Victoria’s Secret are t-shirt bras. (I stopped shopping at Victoria’s Secret in the tenth grade. They run too small). Unsurprisingly, it has never crossed my mind to wear a padded bra, or any bra that involves foam.

Clearly I am out of step with the zeitgest, considering that I have been celebrating what I thought was the increased availability of lacy, sexy bras for big boobed gals. Boy did I call that one wrong.

And is an aversion to “jiggle” or “overflow” a new thing? Or is it new for everyone but me? This article was confounding on so many levels . . .

The bras, much to the chagrin of men interviewed for the article, have the effect of making women’s breasts look bigger:

“I’ve been disappointed when I’ve taken one of those bras off,” said Christian, a 45-year-old artist-photographer who declared himself “passionate” about the subject. He went on: “I’ve had to try and hide my look of surprise. It’s not a deal breaker or anything, but the shape, the size, is many times different than one might have anticipated.”

Again, men generally are not dismayed that my boobs seem more modestly sized bare than when clothed.

Do I operate in a whole other universe?!?!

-DeeDee

The itch I just can’t scratch

Lately my nipples have been really itchy. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the dry weather? Anyway, they are incredibly hard to scratch. Forgetting the problem of not wanting to run my fingers over my boobs in public, doing so in private doesn’t give me much relief. I guess it’s easier to scratch something with more surface area. So far the best relief is a technique I discovered while getting out of the shower last night. Rubbing a terry cloth towel over my breasts provides some friction which relieves a bit of the itch. I guess I can try putting lotion on them.

-3D

BBB Linkage

• Yesterday, the Today Show tackled the tough question of how much is too much cleavage in the work place. (They did not however venture into the issue of nippleitis at work).

• And, while we’re on the subject of nipples, has anyone ever heard of the nipple badge? They were originally designed to teach about sexual health and support the fight against breast cancer but with Halloween just one day away, they could serve as some sort of costume in a pinch (no pun intended), don’t you think? (via Buzzfeed)

-3D

Nipple as fingerprint?

Back in high school, a friend painted a portrait of me for her art class. It was based on a photo she had taken of me where I’m dramatically posed with my arms flung outward. The portrait was hung on a wall in our high school, along with other paintings by her fellow students in A.P. Studio Art. She was a pretty good artist, and I thought it looked like me, but the girl in the portrait had rosier cheeks and slightly rounder facial features. On one side of the portrait was a card that said the name of the artist, and on the other side, a card read, “Portrait of DeeDee.”

After the portrait went up (I didn’t really mind, because it didn’t look too much like me, and anyway, I came out looking okay), I asked another friend — “Mitch” — what he thought of my portrait. Did he think it looked like me? He replied that as soon as he saw that my friend had painted it, he immediately knew it was me because he recognized the nipple that was poking through my shirt.

A point of clarification: Mitch had never seen me topless, nor had he ever felt my breasts, so he shouldn’t have been too familiar with my boobs, but I guess, unbeknownst to me, he stared at them a lot.

I was kind of weirded out that he was so familiar with my nipples. I also feared that after realizing that it was a portrait of me, horny teenage boys would point and nudge, and bitchy (and perhaps jealous) teenage girls would poke fun at my exhibitionism. In a very watered-down way, it was the equivalent of showing up to school naked.

Because Mitch was really a generally freaky person to begin with, I decided to try out someone else. “Kevin,” I asked, “did you notice the portrait Michelle painted of me hanging in the corridor, the one where I’m posed like this,” flinging out my arms to demonstrate.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

“Could you tell it was me, because Mitch said he was able to recognize it based on something really weird. . . . It’s kind of embarrassing. Never mind, I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Did he mean your breast?”

In fairness, I basically led Kevin to the right answer, and he didn’t really even give the right answer anyway. But, still, it got me thinking. Do all nipples have a distinct shape such that they can be used as a means of identification, or are mine just particularly distinctive? In a criminal trial, could the key witness say, “I recognize the defendant by her nipple?” Or is the point of the story that Mitch, and all teenage guys, are really just a bunch of horny freaks?

-DeeDee

Nippleitis and Shame

So I thought I’d weigh in on the nippleitis wars.

Unlike 3D, I never enjoy nippleitis. Well, scratch that. I don’t think much of it if I am around good friends/people I am intimate with. But in any public or semi-public situation, and certainly in a professional situation, I’m always embarrassed when I discover that I am poking through my shirt.

It’s funny — it’s not so much that I notice people looking at me. In fact, I never notice people checking out my breasts. Never. I’m kind of oblivious to things like that. It’s more that I feel like nippleitis means that something is wrong, that a wardrobe malfunction has occurred and that I am being unprofessional/messy/gross.

I think my shame in nippleitis stems from the fact that as a kid, I was always kinda messy and my parents always gave me grief for not being put together. Although I have pretty much moved passed that, even now, I often feel that my clothes aren’t fitting right. For example, my boobs are not only large, but they are particularly large for my frame and so often my tops fall off my shoulders, revealing a bit too much cleavage and sometimes some bra as well. When that occurs, my first reaction is to be hard on myself for buying clothes that don’t fit properly or for not standing up straight or for wearing the wrong bra. Likewise, I tend to think my nippleitis also reflects my inability to appear put together — perhaps I could have avoided it with a better bra, a camisole or maybe I should never have bought the top to begin with. And so I get embarrassed and subsequently angry with myself for being so sloppy.

As I’m writing this, I realize that sometimes it just can’t be avoided and my nippleitis-induced self-wrath is a bit ridiculous. But no, I don’t think I will ever revel in my nipples.

-DeeDee

Nippleitis take two

Ok, so I think I was a little too confident in my last post about nippleitis. While I do like to use it to my advantage sometimes, yesterday reminded me that I don’t always love to be stared at.

For whatever reason, I had nippleitis pretty much all day yesterday. I went to the bathroom before a one-on-one meeting with a guy in my office whom I’m not attracted to and don’t feel the need to assert any power over.  I quickly realized that my nippleitis wasn’t going to go away and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. At that point, my nippleitis wasn’t sexy or flirty, it was just embarrassing. I didn’t want to be looked at as a sexual being, or even female. I just wanted to be a normal co-worker. Unfortunately, my breasts had their own agenda.

It was also embarrassing, (or maybe annoying is the better word), later that day when I caught one of the cleaning crew staff staring at my erect nipples and smiling. While I like to use my nippleitis to my advantage sometimes, I like to get to control it. When I can’t, I feel objectified and gross.

-3D

An “attractive breast”

Jezebel discusses an article about a plastic surgeon who has come up with the “perfect breast shape.” It’s pretty ridiculous although one of his findings includes the notion that an “attractive breast” is one where the nipple is “pointing slightly upward.” Maybe he read my earlier post about finding erect nipples sexy.

Use ‘em if you’ve got ‘em

DeeDee was over last night and we were talking about nippleitis. For those who don’t read us regularly, nippleitis is when, for whatever reason, a woman’s nipples are erect and visible through her clothes.

Most women will tell you that nippleitis is an embarrassing side effect of having breasts. I disagree. I think there is something really sexy about erect nipples. I also think nipple erections give us power over men, specifically when we are in professional environments. I like to gauge how men react to my big breasts in the office and I particularly enjoy making them choose whether to look at my breasts when my nipples are visible through my shirt or whether to look away. I like that I am forcing them to decide whether to act on a natural instinct, which I imagine would be to stare and enjoy, or a professional one, which would be to look me in the eyes only and treat me as a non-sexual being. I suspect that women of any breast side who dress provocatively in the workplace are working the same power play I am. I don’t do this often but once in a while it’s a lot of fun, especially because I tend to cover up my boobs in the office.

-3D

Breast petals

My mom went to an event at Saks and because she knows I get excited about these kinds of things, she gave me her goodie bag. Judging by the loot, the event was likely sponsored by two of my favorite bra companies, Wacoal and Chantelle. In addition to the lingerie wash bags, compact mirrors, sexy underwear, and tiny sweet smelling pillows that are now cluttering my closet, I found six samples of “Breast Petals.” The company doesn’t have a website but they look like these.

I think the point of Breast Petals is to combat a common problem for women affectionately known as “nippleitis” — the side effect of either your body temperature or your level of sexual arousal that causes your nipples to be erect at moments when you wish they weren’t. I actually find that I enjoy when my nipples protrude through my shirt more than most women do but that’s for another post. . .

So back to Breast Petals. This product confounds me as I imagine it may for most big boobed gals. The packaging reads “sometimes you need just a tiny bit of coverage under your tee, sweater or outerwear. Breast Petals can be worn with or without your bra.” I never need “just a tiny bit of coverage” and I am rarely “without my bra.” This product reminds me that I really wish I knew what it was like to just get up in the morning, throw on a T-shirt, and be ready for the day, or what it’s like to shop for formal wear and not wonder how I am going to get my breasts to stay put in a strapless gown. I generally love that I have big boobs but I wish that just for a day I could see how the other half (or the other cup) lives.

I’m going to hang on to these Breast Petals. Maybe I’ll try them one day for fun and post about them here.

-3D